Life Is Lived on the Bridge: What Going Gray Taught Me About Becoming More Myself
I recorded last week’s episode of She Makes Waves sweaty, breathless, and fresh off the treadmill because I knew I had to get the words out while they were still real and raw. What started as a blog post for Linmay Studio about the choice to go gray turned into a flood of salon conversations, and ultimately, something much bigger.
This isn’t just about hair.
It’s about growth.
It’s about identity.
It’s about the bridges we all walk to become who we already are inside.
The Bridge Between Who You Are and Who You're Becoming
Lately, I’ve had an influx of clients coming in to talk about transitioning to their natural gray. Some are ready. Some are curious. Most are unsure. And every single one of them is somewhere in the middle—between who they used to be and who they’re becoming.
That’s when I say it:
“This isn’t your dream color. This is a bridge to get you to where you want to go.”
That line has stuck with me. Because the more I say it in the salon, the more I realize—it’s not just true for hair. It’s true for everything.
We all want the end result: the silver strands that shimmer, the self-confidence that glows, the feeling of being comfortable in our own skin. But that part? The part where you’re not quite there yet, where it’s awkward and vulnerable and yellow-toned and scary?
That’s the bridge. And we have to walk it.
Everyone Wants to Skip the Bridge
I get it. We live in a world built on “before and after” photos. Quick fixes. Overnight shipping. Instant gratification. So when it comes to personal change—hair, body, identity, self-worth—we expect the same speed. But it doesn’t work that way.
People book appointments expecting to go gray in a day.
People think that a new haircut or hair color or nose or job title will suddenly make them into someone new.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned from almost two decades behind the chair:
Every meaningful change comes with a messy, unglamorous, and essential middle.
You can’t skip it.
You shouldn’t want to.
Because that middle—the bridge—is where you become.
A Personal Story: My Own Bridge
For a long time, I struggled with the decision to get a nose job. I worried about what people would think. Whether I was being “inauthentic.” Whether I should just accept myself the way I was. All that noise.
But here’s what finally helped me make peace: I’d done the work. I had accepted myself. I loved myself enough to know that changing something for me—not for anyone else—was okay.
And you know what? It didn’t make me less authentic. It helped me feel more like me.
Because authenticity isn’t about staying the same or rejecting change.
Authenticity is about alignment.
It’s about doing what feels true to you, not what others expect.
That was my bridge. And walking it took over 30 years.
But I’m grateful for every step—because it helped me own my story in a way I never could’ve if I skipped ahead.
The Myth of Arrival
Another thing I’ve seen again and again? We attach our identity to future milestones. I’ll feel a certain way when….
“I’ll feel confident when I’m gray.”
“I’ll feel beautiful when I have long hair again.”
“I’ll feel like myself when I’m married, divorced, promoted, healed...”
But here’s the truth: Wherever you go, there you are. No new hair color, relationship, or accomplishment is going to magically deliver you to yourself if you haven’t walked the bridge to get there.
That’s why some of the most powerful transformations I’ve witnessed have nothing to do with what a client looks like when they leave my chair—and everything to do with how they feel when they start owning their story.
Holding Space on the Bridge
Right now, I’m holding space for about 75 women on the bridge to gray. Some of them feel empowered. Some of them feel anxious. All of them are in the in-between—and it’s an emotional place to be.
But what I’ve learned is that transformation doesn’t happen at the beginning or the end. It happens in the awkward middle.
In the conversations. The pauses. The yellow-toned moments. The resistance. The breakthroughs.
And as uncomfortable as it is… it’s where the most beautiful shifts occur.
That’s where people stop trying to “be someone else” and start becoming more of who they truly are.
Practical Magic (a.k.a. Purple Shampoo)
Let’s be real—bridges are emotional and practical. When it comes to gray hair, that means using the right products, giving your hair (and yourself) time, and resisting the urge to do too much too soon.
If you're on the bridge to going gray, buy the purple shampoo. Let your hair be. Let yourself be. Take care of it. Take care of you. And remember that results don’t come from rushing. They come from consistency and compassion.
And if you're going through a life transition of any kind? The same rules apply.
Final Thoughts: Live on the Bridge
I used to think “making it” meant arriving somewhere. But now I know—
Life is lived on the bridge.
Some bridges are short.
Some take years to cross.
Some you never really get off of—because you’re always growing, always unfolding, always becoming.
And that’s not a failure. That’s freedom.
So whether you’re coloring your hair or going natural…
Whether you’re changing your life or just trying to get through the day…
Know this: you are allowed to be in process.
You are allowed to feel uncomfortable.
You are allowed to love yourself and want change.
You don’t have to skip the bridge.
You just have to keep walking.
Take a listen to the podcast episode this blog post was inspired by:
🖤 A Note to You
Your bridge is valid.
Your timing is yours.
Your truth matters.
And whatever you choose—whether it’s a new color, a new chapter, or a new version of yourself—let it be for you.
Because this life? You only get one. And you deserve to live it in a way that feels authentic, aligned, and beautiful in your own skin.
Are you ready to explore your perfect shade? Visit Our Hair Salon in Evanston
Located in the heart of Evanston, Illinois, Linmay Studio is designed for those who appreciate an elevated, personalized salon experience. We’re not just about great hair—we’re about creating an environment where you feel seen, heard, and truly cared for.
If you’re looking for a luxury hair salon with a laid-back, welcoming vibe, we’d love to have you in our chair. Whether you’re exploring gray blending, full coverage, or embracing your natural silver, we’re here to help you love your hair at every stage.
Ready to experience the Linmay difference? Book your appointment today and discover what a seamless, stress-free salon visit feels like.
